It’s almost Thanksgiving, which is one of my favorite holidays (y’all know Christmas will always be my first love but it’s a close second), and like most of you, I’ve been feeling especially grateful. Being grateful is actually something I’ve been thinking about a lot in the past few years. Sometime last year, I started a tradition that has easily become one of the most meaningful parts of my week, and has really helped to foster gratefulness in me all year long.
Every Friday on my lunch, I block out some time in my calendar and I find a quiet place. Then I spend some time praying and thinking about what I’m thankful for. Specifically, I ask God to bring to mind people in my life, both past and present, who have impacted me in some way. If possible, I try to end the time by writing cards or letters to whoever he brings to mind that day to let them know why I’m thankful for them. Sometimes it’s a co-worker, one of my pastors, or my best friend. Sometimes it’s someone I haven’t talked to in months or years and it feels a little awkward. But I do it anyway.
I really believe we underestimate the power our words have. I’ve lost too many people unexpectedly to live like any of us are promised tomorrow. And even if we all live to be 100, it’s still so important to encourage and build each other up. It’s so easy to do and yet we so often just leave those words unsaid.
A month or two ago, I found a draft of a card that I had sent to my little “brother” Kaleb about 2 years ago. I’ve written him tons of cards over the years and I normally wouldn’t have any record of them. But I was out of cards this particular day so I had written it in my journal until I could buy a card and mail it to him. I’m so glad for that because it made me really happy to read what I wrote him. Here’s how I ended the card.
I’m so proud of you, every single day. I’ll always be in your corner. When I think back on the last 10 years, I know without a doubt that you and your siblings coming into my life was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. No matter what we’ve gone through and will still go through, I am so thankful to the Lord every day for you. You’re gonna be alright. Love you so much.
Kaleb took his own life earlier this year. After he died, as hard as it was and still is, one thing I never questioned was whether or not he knew how much I loved him. I ended every card, every text, every email, by telling him I was proud of him and I loved him. My love was not enough to save him, and I think I’ll probably always struggle with that, but I know I didn’t leave anything unsaid, and that brings me immense comfort.
With the Thanksgiving holiday approaching, I know many of you will be thinking about the people for whom you are thankful. Why not tell them now? Tell the people you love that you love them. Tell the people who’ve influenced you or taught you something exactly how and thank them. You might think they know but they probably don’t. You don’t have to write them a card (but you should because real mail is AMAZING), but tell them. You might have no idea this side of heaven how your words changed lives, but I believe that they do.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- An old teacher or professor
- Current and former pastors
- Current and former pastor’s wives (please encourage these women!!)
- Your parents, grandparents, or siblings
- High school or college best friend
- The doorman of your building
- A co-worker who works really hard with little recognition
- A former boss who taught you something you use in your job today
- Your youth minister or a volunteer from when you were a teenager – this card should probably include some apologies as well, haha. I know mine did.
- The husband or wife of your best friend
- Your children’s teachers/childcare workers
- Anyone you know between the ages of 10-20 (feeling loved and appreciated counts like 100x more during those extremely vulnerable years)
Let Go, My Soul 